04/02/25 23:20: i was being dramatic and everything was in my head i love my friends ❤︎

27/01/25 19:54: teachers pissed me offff today. sorry but why are they so oblivious and annoying. also ngl i kinda wanna stop being friends with this person cuz of something he said on thursday lol. i can't talk about it here cause it needs some context that's private,, but it was literally just three words... so i know it's probably not that deep and i'll get over it eventually, but that's the thing. i'm constantly having to get over something he did that got under my skin. i can't put all the blame on him, since i don't actually communicate when i'm hurt. but neither does he, so... and the one time i went 'hey can you not rub the pages between your fingers it makes a sound that's horrible to me' he literally just looked at me and rubbed the pages between his fingers, so... GOD remembering that just annoyed me. he's allowed to have sensory issues but not me i guess!! anyways the problem with this is that i literally only have two friends... we're a friend group, just us 3. so obviously it'd be awkward as hell, and we're in a special needs school so there's literally no one else to be friends with, and we're in the same class. also.. so my friends communicate by writing on whiteboards. and maybe this is just me being insecure as usual but 90% of the time he'll write something, show what he wrote to my friend.. but not show me. even though me and her are next to each other literally all the time. idk.. obviously he's shown her something and not me before cause like. duh. you can just say something to one person and not the other. but it was like everytime today and it would make sense with what he said on thursday, now that i'm thinking about it... regardless, it's not like i can do anything about it now anyways since it's nearing exams now,, It'd be unfair to put that stress on them.

09/01/25 19:16: omg css makes me want to BASH MY FACE AGAINST THE SCREEN gang!! like why is my vertical scrollbar not showinggg when i only have 'overflow-x: hiddennnnnnn' hahaaaaa.

06/01/25 18:52: tried auguste and whiteface clown make-up :D very tired because i stayed up all night zz

05/01/25 22:57: took a bath, sprayed deodorant and brushed my teeth! i'm no longer stinky!!

04/01/25 15:15: ok i'm feeling more ready to face life again after vomiting everything up here! i can't help needing to take a bit more time than everyone else... i wish i didn't have to keep relearning the same lessons every time though.

04/01/25 06:51: cat.. trying to walk on keyboard... agh!!1!

04/01/25 04:07: cat.. blocking screen... agh!!1!

02/01/25 22:10: it'd be better if i felt horrible all the time, but i don't. i feel empty. i've started to think i'm not human; or at least that i was born lacking something innate to every other human being. but that's just ultimately me trying to take the blame off myself like the horrible person i am. the other night i was so close, but i fell asleep. so is it really that bad? every night i think of taking all my circadin pills, i think i have around 200mg of melatonin, as if that'd even do anything. it'd literally just like give me a stomach ache and maybe make me sleep longer if i'm lucky. i'm not sure if anyone would even notice. i sleep all day anyways. if i was brave enough, i'd drink bleach or something, but i'm too afraid of the pain. i don't want to be in public. i can't bring myself to shower or have a bath, and i can't remember the last time i brushed my teeth. i don't know why i'm writing this or uploading this.

24/12/24 19:04: ho ho hoe

19/12/24 16:36: burst out crying while paying for 2 packs of gum and blu-tack at the co-op... a nice lady paid for a pack of gum for me though.

09/12/24 11:56: do i have the time? oh, yeah, let me just check my AWESOME SPIDER-MAN WATCH.

07/12/24 18:20: straight up walking it. and by it. haha well lets just say. underground

07/12/24 13:19: why is peppa pig actually lowkey funny. 4 year old me knew what was up.

06/12/2024 22:22: microblog is here!! currently having a sleepover at a friends :-]